Teens Uprooted – Survival Guide for families moving with teenagers

Relocating a teenager can be like uprooting a mountain. That’s because most teens conic up with a mountain of objections to budging from town, home, school, friends, jobs, activities.
And no wonder Teen years are notorious for change biological, physiological, psychological, and emotional. The last thing teens hope for is yet another change to cope with.
That’s why we offer here proven tactics for helping teens through a move without drowning in tears and fears. Of course, if the move is made easier on your teen, it’s easier for you, too. After all, you have enough work ahead of you without adding mountain moving to the list. So here are ways to reduce that mountain to a more manageable, movable size. For all teens on the move, including yours, we present this survival guide.
Relocating often spells "D-O-O-M" to teenagers: the loss of friends, clubs, athletics, musical organizations, academic courses, favorite recreation. To them, life may seem to be over! Of course, it’s not, but that’s not always easy for a teen to believe.
There are things you can say and do, however. that can make their move and yours a whole lot more pleasant. Here are six proven suggestions to assure your entire family survives the move:
1. Recognize the hardship perceived by your teen.
Realize the seriousness of your teen’s
thoughts arid feelings. Leaving friends may seem an unbearable tragedy. Moving may seem to take control of their lives out 0f their hands.
2. Listen and talk.
Answer all the "why’s." "Why are you doing this to me?" "Why are you taking this job?" "Why was I born?"

Meet any anger with as much calm understanding as possible—even try sonic humor, despite die stress you’re under, too. Emphasize "We’re in this together." Say, for example. "Let’s talk about the sadness and anger we all feel. But after time to grieve, let’s find substitutes for those things we’ll miss."

3. Make plans to keep in touch with friends.

While the move is still in the talking stage, plan ahead. Arrange for visits hack and forth especially if there’s a "forever" teen romance in progress. Remind teens (without sarcasm) the
telephone works as well across the country as across the street, and suggest the wonders of e-mail. Leave it until later to monitor number and length of calls. Don’t forget to help plan a going away party with special friends and take lots of photos of home and friends to place into a memory book.
4. Include your teen in resettling plans.
If possible, let your teen come with you on home finding expeditions. The house choice may focus in part on a school that best meets the teen’s interests. Tour schools, parks, social arid athletic centers, shopping malls, libraries. Turn the Great Unknown into the Great New Beginning.
5. Re-establish key connections before moving.
Armed with brochures, letters, newspapers, schools, and information from all sources, encourage (but don’t push) your teens to find new contacts for their interests before moving day. Help an ice-skater find a new rink. Help a musician find a new teacher. Follow- up leads to other voting people who share your teen’s interests.
6. Make their school transition as smooth as possible.
Before moving, contact die new school for accurate information on transfer of credits, timing of registration, deadlines for joining team sports or dramatics, music or dance groups. Before starting school, give your teen a chance to observe how local teens dress so yours will know how to "dress right" for that important first day at school and plan a trip to the mall if a quick wardrobe update is in order.